I was a tween when Gilmore Girls first came out, and I really connected with it—namely because I lost my mom when I was young and really liked the portrayal of a maternal relationship I never had, but really wanted. I knew I always wanted to be a mom, and my fantasy of what that would look like was, in many ways, moulded after the dynamic I saw on screen between Lorelai and Rory Gilmore.

Before I suggested to my 10-year-old daughter that we watch it together, I was a little hesitant. Truth be told, I didn’t really remember the show well enough to feel confident that the content was age-appropriate for her; and we discovered that, at times, it definitely was not. That said, I felt comfortable exposing her to the more mature aspects of the show—in part because the romances were a lot more interesting to her than the sex stuff that came up, but also because we were watching it together.

I also discovered more reasons to endorse the show as a parent. My daughter is already navigating all the ups-and-downs that come with, well, coming-of-age: there’s in-fighting in social groups, popularity contests, hormone-fueled emotional experiences, her desire to excel at some particular thing whilst still trying to discover her identity, etc. You can see it all in Gilmore Girls, and it’s handled in a way that I admire. I recently wrote about my reasons for not showing my kids the beloved classic Grease, and I can say confidently that the issues I have with the messaging in that movie do not apply to Gilmore Girls. It’s almost as if it were written by a woman. (Psst: It was. Hats off to you, Amy Sherman-Palladino.)

Things get a lot sexier during the later seasons—references that are kind of hard to explain to a tween—and some unethical unions (i.e. sleeping with the professor and cheating within a monogamous relationship). There’s also plenty of underage drinking, so I would advise parents to proceed with caution. Still, what I took away from this mother-daughter viewing experience is that we don’t really need to shy away from any of these topics or make them so taboo. In fact, that pushes our daughters further away and encourages them to stay hush-hush about the choices they make and the changes they are going through. (Yes, my daughter would totally gag and possibly sucker punch me if she read that line.)

What Gilmore Girls illustrates, and I’m inclined to believe, is that open communication about consent, crushes, sexual encounters, poor choices is essential—and should preferably be done in the pithiest and wittiest way possible. You know, so there’s more humor and less cheese. And on that note, I’m going to take a page out of Lorelei’s book and get all the juicy details from my daughter by pestering her about her personal life in the most jocular and endearing way possible. Wish me luck.

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