I’m a mom of a 19-year-old teen boy who has really experienced the ups and downs of adolescence. Some of these are standard for his cohort (pandemic quarantine isolation), while some are more unique to him (grief over the death of a parent at age 12).

And I’m only realizing now that I’ve been so distracted by the wild irregularities of our family that sometimes I’ve skipped learning the basics of parenting, such as how to teach responsibility to teenagers.

Luckily, I found a book I love: Your Turn: How to Be an Adult by Julie Lythcott-Haims, which details some of the lessons she picked up during years of working with college freshmen and undergraduates in California. I recently interviewed her for tips on getting responsibility through to the teenage brain, and what I gleaned is fascinating. Fair warning—changing teen behavior often starts with changing your own first.

I Thought I Knew Gen Z–Two Hours with 50 Teens Proved Me Wrong

Meet the Expert

Julie Lythcott-Haims is an American educator, author and politician. She is the author of How to Raise an Adult, on parenting; Real American, a memoir; and Your Turn: How to Be an Adult. She is the former dean of freshmen and undergraduate advising at Stanford University.

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