Meet the Expert

Jennifer Kelman is a mental health expert on JustAnswer, where she has provided online support to those in need since 2012. In addition to her work on JustAnswer, Kelman has been a licensed clinical social worker for more than 30 years and maintains a private practice specializing in relationships, parenting, and children’s mental health issues. She is also a children’s book author, and has lectured extensively and appeared on news and television programs across the country.

How to Teach Your Kid Manners

Kelman tells us that the best way to teach your kid good manners is not by commanding them to do and say specific things like “please” and “thank you,” but by modeling those behaviors yourself and then explaining why you did it during a private conversation with your child. This ensures that the child actually understands the value and meaning behind this thing we call good manners, as opposed to just parroting you when you’re around and/or telling them to do it. Finally, make sure you keep shame out of the equation—and that goes for when you’re talking to your kid and also relates to how you evaluate situations yourself. (Hint: the world isn’t actually judging you or your kid as much as you think.)

• Be a role model
• Don’t force good manners
• Don’t treat your kid like a third wheel
• Gently minimize interruptions
• Have ongoing conversations about caring
• Rethink your notion of ‘misbehavior’
• Watch TV shows that model good manners
• Praise your child
• Play games that teach manners
• Read books that emphasize social emotional learning