Final Thought: Tone Policing Isn’t About Tone—It’s About Power

You know that “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” phrase? Tone is the same. Why is it that a man is perceived as “cool and collected,” but a woman who mimics his behavior is “cold and shrill”? Before you address someone’s “tone,” ask yourself, “Am I responding to the actual subject or am I trying to put someone in their place?” If it’s the latter, you’re tone policing. And ultimately, dictating how someone should speak or hold themselves is a power move meant to distract from the subject at hand instead of responding with empathy, which is honestly so much easier.

Racial Gaslighting Is Real, and for BIPOC Women, It’s Thoroughly Toxic